Welcome to 2019, where we kicked off the new year by witnessing the inauguration of a monumental, once-in-a-decade TV series: Tidying up with Marie Kondo.
There is nothing more satisfying than watching a tiny Asian woman who could win the world’s biggest smile contest going into someone’s home to change their lives, or at least whip their closet into shape.
With all-knowing New York Times telling us that cluttering is really bad for you, and minimalists’ spirit animal being on Netflix spurring endless twitter storms and internet articles, there is no better time for the rest of us mortals to pick up a dozen of brown moving boxes, mark them ‘DONATE’ with a sharpie, and start.
After years of acquiring stuff like good capitalists we are, what we see in our apartment can look anywhere between overwhelming and outright terrifying. Often we open our closet to start looking for things to get rid of, and in no time organizing turns into a one-woman fashion show showcasing 15 years of personal fashion history. God forbid if we put our old letters and photos in our closet. Be prepared to spend hours sitting on your bedroom floor and risk getting dangerously sentimental and mortified at the same time over your 5th-grade diary.
This happens not because we don’t have enough mental strength to undertake the task of organization. It is merely because we don’t have the tactics. Like any projects, you need a plan first.
The mindset:
1/ Don’t be a warrior. Be a Zen Buddhist.
The task in front of you is significant. You want to tackle it and jump in with determination. Your eyebrows are all squeezed. Tip of your mouth drops half an inch. You might even be gritting your teeth. And this is exactly how you start an unsuccessful organization project.
Here’s the thing: It is not a battle. Think of an organization as meditation, not a fight with your stuff. It is neither a solution for any other problem than decluttering itself, so leave behind the thought that your life will change entirely after organizing - what pressure would that be! After all, this is a small step toward getting your things and affairs in order. That is all this is about.
Start by imagining you don’t own anything. Start with the denial to material things, and entirely focus on this rejection. We are all born naked. Imagine you are standing at your door, with just what you are wearing. Everything else just appeared in front of you. It is given to you because you decided to give these things to yourself over your entire life. Start giving each item to yourself again, and think if you’ll say yes to this item now, at this moment in life.
2/ The goal is the process, but envision the end state anyway.
That didn’t make much sense, but let me explain. The end goal of an organization is better mental health. If clutter and hoarding are good for us, we wouldn’t be doing this at all. To this end, the process of organizing will make you much happier than enjoying the tidied up apartment. Even the neatest apartment gets messy. Clean always becomes dirty because entropy applies here too. What has the lasting impact is not the organized apartment itself, but the fact that now we KNOW every single thing we own and their place. The joy comes from the prospect of having your home tidied up in no time, without any hesitation or reservation - it’s the thought of putting things where they belong. The empowering satisfaction of having control of what belongs to us, instead of belonging to our worldly possessions.
Envision your room becoming your sanctuary, and always knowing how to make it BACK to your sanctuary. What will you do with all the space? Practice Yoga. Dance around with your kids. Cook a meal for the first time. Be able to open the window anytime you want to get fresh air.
3/ Set a high bar for things that you eventually own.
For utilitarian items (Scissors, those jeans that you wear every once in a while, duvet):
I imagine that I have 24 hours to pack everything to move to a house half the size of the current apartment. If I am not packing it up for my new home tomorrow, then there is no reason why it has to be here with me now.
For sentimental items (That diary I mentioned. And a football jersey you kept from college):
I believe there is a value in keeping some sentimental items. If something brings back a memory that makes us more human, it deserves to take place in our lives. I keep all the cards and notes from my husband. No digital copy can replace their magical power of making me feel like I just followed the entire 45 minutes of Soulcycle class like a winner in life (for the record, this never happened). The same is not true for the Christmas card I received in the second grade, so they all go to the recycling bin.
Day one
Step 1. Pick a day. ALL day.
I often compare organizing to potty training. Do it once, correctly, and only occasionally pick up the mess, or do it for years exhaustingly. (If you are potty training, I swear by the method described in ‘Oh Crap’. It is indeed the only way to end the agony once and for all.)
The first order of business is to pick a day or two. And I mean the WHOLE day. Clear your social agenda. Plan your meals. If you are living with a spouse and family, get them on board, too.
Start early in the morning. Power through the day and finish before the sunset. Order Chinese for dinner and take a bath in a clean tub, because you worked hard all day, but more importantly, because you are done.
Step 2. Single room, high volume category.
Of course, you are not done with the whole house. But at least you are done with your bedroom. Or kitchen, Or living room. Make sure you start with the most problematic space. This doesn’t mean the messiest area, but a cluttered area that you and your family spend the most time in. It is an area you had always wished you had more space. If you wanted a walk-in closet in your bedroom, start with your bedroom. If you wanted to cook but couldn’t, then start with the kitchen.
Once you picked a room, start with the highest volume category. Obvious ones are clothing, pots and pans, and sometimes books. Make your way into smaller but messy categories, like makeup and stationary. Make a big box, and starting putting the things that you can’t say yes to anymore. Swiftly and lightheartedly, say this over and over again - ‘Thank you, but no thank you.’
Step 3. Reserve your right NOT to organize.
Mark your clutter sanctuary, because we mortals need them. For me, this is the kitchen cabinet. I gave up putting my pots and pans in order altogether because that’s where I get to be just messy. I accumulate spices, snacks, and pasta - and some passed expiration date. It’s no biggie. As long as it is a contained space that doesn’t have a significant impact on everyday life, allow yourself to be a bit carefree.
Even when you are organizing your first room, give yourself ‘still pondering’ box. Label it, find a permanent place for it and put away items that you kinda wanna say yes to, but not quite sure. Yes, I am talking about that yellow rain boots I had for years and only wear three times a year, but also, damn cute. (I ultimately part ways with them, and don’t miss them)
Step 4. Don’t waste time sitting on the boxes.
It’s 12:45 p.m. You’ve been rummaging through your closet for four hours straight. You have five full boxes already. You feel great, but also tired. And hungry. You and your partner stopped telling jokes and laughing for quite some time. You feel like you have gone through pretty much most of the things.
Now it’s time to get out of the house. Tape those boxes, put them in your car (or UBER XL), and drive to the nearest Goodwill donation center. If you had made a separate box for valuable items that you can consign, make two trips. Finally, recycle or throw away things that you can’t donate or sell.
Sitting on your boxes is one of the biggest mistakes you can make because things have legs and feet (what, you didn’t know this already?) and they will climb out and clutter your apartment again. Say goodbye to them for good.
Step 5. Tidy up.
Let’s not worry about learning how to fold yet*, or little boxes in a big box, or nailing hooks in the cabinet. Fold your clothes or organize your pantry just as you know how to. You have much fewer things so naturally, it’s much easier.
Instead, let’s be conscious of WHERE you put your things. Where are you making home for everything that you said yes too? Should all tops and sweaters go in the same drawer? (No.) Should you organize based on the season? (Probably yes.) Should you make a separate home for your fitted sheet/ pillowcase and duvet cover? (Depends on if you wash and change them together or not.) Should you have a dedicated drawer for your underwear and pajamas? (Absolutely.) If the morning was all about feelings, intuition and physical labor, in the afternoon, you are solving an intellectual puzzle.
When your done tidying everything up, I recommend giving a quick sweep, vacuum or mop around your room.
Step 6. Rejoice.
You are done! Look around! Nothing on the floor! Your closet doesn’t throw up when you open it! If you want to find that stapler that you keep losing, now you know exactly where it is!
Time to order that Chinese and put on Netflix. (No, not the Marie Kondo one.)
Step 7. Get another date.
It doesn’t have to be your next weekend. But let’s not stop here - get another date, and this time tackle somewhere else. Move to your next room. Combine 2-3 rooms if you are practically on fire.
Every time I meet people who are slightly embarrassed by their home or downright pained by clutter, the reason that they give for not organizing their house is that they don’t have time. But really, all it takes is one day. Just one day to begin appreciating and loving everything you own, inviting anyone to your home anytime for a cup of tea, and always feeling like you have your possessions in order.
Think about that.
*The only folding skill I recommend you to acquire is to learn how to fold a fitted sheet. It reduces space, makes your linen closet sooooooo tidy, and takes 10 minutes to learn, and most importantly, it’s quite fun.
Here’s how:
There is nothing more satisfying than watching a tiny Asian woman who could win the world’s biggest smile contest going into someone’s home to change their lives, or at least whip their closet into shape.
With all-knowing New York Times telling us that cluttering is really bad for you, and minimalists’ spirit animal being on Netflix spurring endless twitter storms and internet articles, there is no better time for the rest of us mortals to pick up a dozen of brown moving boxes, mark them ‘DONATE’ with a sharpie, and start.
After years of acquiring stuff like good capitalists we are, what we see in our apartment can look anywhere between overwhelming and outright terrifying. Often we open our closet to start looking for things to get rid of, and in no time organizing turns into a one-woman fashion show showcasing 15 years of personal fashion history. God forbid if we put our old letters and photos in our closet. Be prepared to spend hours sitting on your bedroom floor and risk getting dangerously sentimental and mortified at the same time over your 5th-grade diary.
This happens not because we don’t have enough mental strength to undertake the task of organization. It is merely because we don’t have the tactics. Like any projects, you need a plan first.
The mindset:
1/ Don’t be a warrior. Be a Zen Buddhist.
The task in front of you is significant. You want to tackle it and jump in with determination. Your eyebrows are all squeezed. Tip of your mouth drops half an inch. You might even be gritting your teeth. And this is exactly how you start an unsuccessful organization project.
Here’s the thing: It is not a battle. Think of an organization as meditation, not a fight with your stuff. It is neither a solution for any other problem than decluttering itself, so leave behind the thought that your life will change entirely after organizing - what pressure would that be! After all, this is a small step toward getting your things and affairs in order. That is all this is about.
Start by imagining you don’t own anything. Start with the denial to material things, and entirely focus on this rejection. We are all born naked. Imagine you are standing at your door, with just what you are wearing. Everything else just appeared in front of you. It is given to you because you decided to give these things to yourself over your entire life. Start giving each item to yourself again, and think if you’ll say yes to this item now, at this moment in life.
 |
| This is you when you are organizing. |
2/ The goal is the process, but envision the end state anyway.
That didn’t make much sense, but let me explain. The end goal of an organization is better mental health. If clutter and hoarding are good for us, we wouldn’t be doing this at all. To this end, the process of organizing will make you much happier than enjoying the tidied up apartment. Even the neatest apartment gets messy. Clean always becomes dirty because entropy applies here too. What has the lasting impact is not the organized apartment itself, but the fact that now we KNOW every single thing we own and their place. The joy comes from the prospect of having your home tidied up in no time, without any hesitation or reservation - it’s the thought of putting things where they belong. The empowering satisfaction of having control of what belongs to us, instead of belonging to our worldly possessions.
Envision your room becoming your sanctuary, and always knowing how to make it BACK to your sanctuary. What will you do with all the space? Practice Yoga. Dance around with your kids. Cook a meal for the first time. Be able to open the window anytime you want to get fresh air.
3/ Set a high bar for things that you eventually own.
For utilitarian items (Scissors, those jeans that you wear every once in a while, duvet):
I imagine that I have 24 hours to pack everything to move to a house half the size of the current apartment. If I am not packing it up for my new home tomorrow, then there is no reason why it has to be here with me now.
For sentimental items (That diary I mentioned. And a football jersey you kept from college):
I believe there is a value in keeping some sentimental items. If something brings back a memory that makes us more human, it deserves to take place in our lives. I keep all the cards and notes from my husband. No digital copy can replace their magical power of making me feel like I just followed the entire 45 minutes of Soulcycle class like a winner in life (for the record, this never happened). The same is not true for the Christmas card I received in the second grade, so they all go to the recycling bin.
Day one
Step 1. Pick a day. ALL day.
I often compare organizing to potty training. Do it once, correctly, and only occasionally pick up the mess, or do it for years exhaustingly. (If you are potty training, I swear by the method described in ‘Oh Crap’. It is indeed the only way to end the agony once and for all.)
 |
| Potty day, tidy day, same thing. |
The first order of business is to pick a day or two. And I mean the WHOLE day. Clear your social agenda. Plan your meals. If you are living with a spouse and family, get them on board, too.
Start early in the morning. Power through the day and finish before the sunset. Order Chinese for dinner and take a bath in a clean tub, because you worked hard all day, but more importantly, because you are done.
Step 2. Single room, high volume category.
Of course, you are not done with the whole house. But at least you are done with your bedroom. Or kitchen, Or living room. Make sure you start with the most problematic space. This doesn’t mean the messiest area, but a cluttered area that you and your family spend the most time in. It is an area you had always wished you had more space. If you wanted a walk-in closet in your bedroom, start with your bedroom. If you wanted to cook but couldn’t, then start with the kitchen.
Once you picked a room, start with the highest volume category. Obvious ones are clothing, pots and pans, and sometimes books. Make your way into smaller but messy categories, like makeup and stationary. Make a big box, and starting putting the things that you can’t say yes to anymore. Swiftly and lightheartedly, say this over and over again - ‘Thank you, but no thank you.’
Step 3. Reserve your right NOT to organize.
Mark your clutter sanctuary, because we mortals need them. For me, this is the kitchen cabinet. I gave up putting my pots and pans in order altogether because that’s where I get to be just messy. I accumulate spices, snacks, and pasta - and some passed expiration date. It’s no biggie. As long as it is a contained space that doesn’t have a significant impact on everyday life, allow yourself to be a bit carefree.
Even when you are organizing your first room, give yourself ‘still pondering’ box. Label it, find a permanent place for it and put away items that you kinda wanna say yes to, but not quite sure. Yes, I am talking about that yellow rain boots I had for years and only wear three times a year, but also, damn cute. (I ultimately part ways with them, and don’t miss them)
 |
| Damn cute, I'd say. |
Step 4. Don’t waste time sitting on the boxes.
It’s 12:45 p.m. You’ve been rummaging through your closet for four hours straight. You have five full boxes already. You feel great, but also tired. And hungry. You and your partner stopped telling jokes and laughing for quite some time. You feel like you have gone through pretty much most of the things.
Now it’s time to get out of the house. Tape those boxes, put them in your car (or UBER XL), and drive to the nearest Goodwill donation center. If you had made a separate box for valuable items that you can consign, make two trips. Finally, recycle or throw away things that you can’t donate or sell.
Sitting on your boxes is one of the biggest mistakes you can make because things have legs and feet (what, you didn’t know this already?) and they will climb out and clutter your apartment again. Say goodbye to them for good.
Step 5. Tidy up.
Let’s not worry about learning how to fold yet*, or little boxes in a big box, or nailing hooks in the cabinet. Fold your clothes or organize your pantry just as you know how to. You have much fewer things so naturally, it’s much easier.
Instead, let’s be conscious of WHERE you put your things. Where are you making home for everything that you said yes too? Should all tops and sweaters go in the same drawer? (No.) Should you organize based on the season? (Probably yes.) Should you make a separate home for your fitted sheet/ pillowcase and duvet cover? (Depends on if you wash and change them together or not.) Should you have a dedicated drawer for your underwear and pajamas? (Absolutely.) If the morning was all about feelings, intuition and physical labor, in the afternoon, you are solving an intellectual puzzle.
When your done tidying everything up, I recommend giving a quick sweep, vacuum or mop around your room.
Step 6. Rejoice.
You are done! Look around! Nothing on the floor! Your closet doesn’t throw up when you open it! If you want to find that stapler that you keep losing, now you know exactly where it is!
Time to order that Chinese and put on Netflix. (No, not the Marie Kondo one.)
Step 7. Get another date.
It doesn’t have to be your next weekend. But let’s not stop here - get another date, and this time tackle somewhere else. Move to your next room. Combine 2-3 rooms if you are practically on fire.
Every time I meet people who are slightly embarrassed by their home or downright pained by clutter, the reason that they give for not organizing their house is that they don’t have time. But really, all it takes is one day. Just one day to begin appreciating and loving everything you own, inviting anyone to your home anytime for a cup of tea, and always feeling like you have your possessions in order.
Think about that.
*The only folding skill I recommend you to acquire is to learn how to fold a fitted sheet. It reduces space, makes your linen closet sooooooo tidy, and takes 10 minutes to learn, and most importantly, it’s quite fun.
Here’s how:
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